Sunday, July 26, 2020

What Would You Do?

I was wondering what you would do in this situation.

While playing doubles tennis with a young Chinese girl getting a lesson on the next court, a lady I was playing with commented that Chinese and Indian parents push their children, force them to take tennis lessons, that's too much pressure on kids and can lead to suicide.  I don't think she's prejudiced.  I don't know her well, she's a good tennis player and is a fun-loving person but she didn't say this in a complementary way.  Not demeaning either but it was clear she was looking down on us.

My first thought was to say not all Chinese parents are tiger mothers.  Like me for example, but I let it go.  That was wrong.  I should have said that's a very stereotypical thing to say, not all Chinese & Indian parents do that. 

Now a days white people are saying in this BLM environment, if you don't confront derogatory comments when you hear them you are condoning that behavior.  So yes, I should have said something even though it may have ruined my tennis game.  I don't care if it would have ruined hers.

Later on I said how hot it was and she said its humid just like in the Philippines so you may be used to it.  I told her I wasn't Filipino, I'm Chinese and she apologized.  I wonder if she would have made that Chinese comment if she knew I was Chinese.

It reminded me of the time I worked til 9 at Y&R and David and Gary (then a toddler) came to pick me up.  While walking out of the lobby some other stupid young employee said "The cleaning people are here with their children".  I didn't realize til I walked pass her that she was referring to me.  I was so stunned I couldn't respond.  I should have said "I'm not the cleaning lady I'm an employee just like you"  (you asshole).  But then again I didn't say anything because I was so shocked, so hurt, so mad. 

I'm taking a lesson from AOC's playbook.  The next time anyone says anything derogatory to me I am going to make a speech, or at least fight back.  Stereotypes exist & continue if you just let dumb sayings go.

So no more.



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