Yee Goo Ma

Unfortunately my Aunt Dorothy (Yee Goo Ma) passed away.

She suffered from Alzheimer's and didn't recognize her own daughter for the last five years. I have fond memories of us going to her house in Dix Hills as kids. She stayed with us to take care of the boys when we moved to NJ. Two days in a row, they missed the kindergarten bus, and two days in a row, she pushed Jake in the carriage, while she and Gary walked to school. At that time, she must have been in her early 70's and was clearly exasperated by two small boys. She hinted that she couldn't handle it for the whole week, somehow I ignored her. She was a huge help to us. She lent me $200 when my checking account was empty and said that's why parents save their money to give to their children (nieces/nephews).

My Dad used to say she was difficult as a child. My Dad and his four siblings were born in NY, but my Grandma returned with the family to China/HK after my Grandfather died. He died when my father was three. Both my father and Aunt Dorothy returned to NY on their own as children (separately). According to my Dad, no one could handle her and she lived with three different families (the Gow Gong people). Maybe she wasn't difficult, maybe she was just lonely. I can't imagine coming to America on a boat for a couple of weeks with relatives, then living with relatives as a child. Maybe this gave her her sense of perseverance.

Her doctor's prognosis for her a year ago was not good and he predicted she would pass by last February. I've lived this past year wondering, hoping she wouldn't pass on my birthday, or Aunt Joyce's birthday, or Christmas, or any other special day. She outlived her prognosis by over a year, so I think she had a strong will to live, but unfortunately not a good quality of life. Her daughter April, my cousin has cared for her tirelessly. I wonder what it will feel like for her to have her life back. She said the dog kept trying to jump up on her bed the night before she died, and then the dog cried after she passed. How do they know?

My grandmother had Alzheimer's, I wonder if I'm more prone to it. There was a whole story on Sunday Morning this week on it -- more and more Americans have it, there's no cure. Its a terrible disease.

Her funeral and wake are on Tuesday, February 1st at Ng Fook at 36 Mulberry Street in NY.