I WISH I WERE A MERMAID

I secretly aspire to be a mermaid. Perhaps its because I am Aquarius, and am a child of the sea (water-bearer, not water-beaver, but that's another story).

Beautiful, long hair, bikini, flippers for easy swimming. Who needs legs if you live in the water all day, or sun yourself on rocks--just waddle up.

Perhaps this comes from watching Peter Pan with Gary too many times. He loved that video as a kid. "Peeter, Peeter", the mermaids would say. Then when they saw Wendy, they laughed at the girl in her nightgown.

One of my favorite movies is Splash, with Darryl Hannah and Tom Hanks. Don't know why I love it, there's something magical in the idea that Madison could just walk on shore, right up to the stores. Fall in love, go back to sea. Eat a lobster with her hands.

And then there's the mermaids from Chicken of the Sea........What's the best tuna? chicken of the sea. Maybe I ate too much of that as a kid (the kind soaked in oil, not water, chunk, not the other flaky one).

I also like the movie Mermaids starring Cher and the young actress who got caught for shoplifting. I like the ending where they dance to the song "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life.....find some girl to be your wife". Remember the scene where the daughter tells Cher "You're the town whore Mom", and she slaps her in the face.... Go Cher........... Now that I think about it, I don't remember what the plot has to do with mermaids.

I wonder what it feels like to be half woman and half fish. Does your flipper feel scaly or smooth? Is it more like woman's skin or swordfish skin? How do mermaids go to the bathroom anyway? Where do they sleep? If I were a mermaid, I'd swim with the dolphins, real fast, become one with them within their school. Glide through the water and smell the sea salt. Our Masters swimming coach tell us swimming is a feel sport, so I'd feel the water, on my hair, on my fins, on my face. I'd look around and see the beauty of the sea because I wouldn't need goggles or glasses, after all, I'm a mermaid. Mermaids have perfect vision (near and far). I'd smile when I see any beautiful fish, they'd be my friends since I'd be one with the sea.

I wish I were a mermaid, but I'm not, I'm a human. Next I'll tell you how I wish I could ride on a unicorn.