The Funeral Parlor Story

In late 2008, we lost our friend Ed Young to liver disease. David had known him since college days and he'd been suffering for a long time. Unfortunately, he'd lost his sister to the same disease and his nephew now suffers from this also. Ed lost both his parents some years ago and is survived by his brother Steve -- who is married with a happy young baby boy (toddler). Ed's life story was very tragic and sprinkled with on again, off again girlfriend conflict.

On the day of his wake, David & I agreed to meet at the funeral parlor, Wah Wing Sang, --the one at the corner, which I think is called Wah Wing Sang. Usually, they have the names of the deceased in English and Chinese hanging on the door and I told the funeral parlor man I was there to see Ed Young. So now comes probably one of the most mortifying moments of my life...........

It was a very small room with only three rows of seats, all filled with old people. It was a very traditional Chinese wake - with food on a big table and a band of about 5 people on the right. They were playing old fashioned instruments I'd never seen before and wearing white scarves on their heads. It was too late, I followed the funeral parlor director up to light incense and that's when I realized the man in the coffin wasn't Ed. I couldn't turn around and run because I was already in front of all the mourners and the funeral parlor man had the incense in his hand. "What should I do, what should I do?". Why does this stuff only happen to me? I bowed 3 x with the incense then did the same at the coffin, wished him well, even though I didn't know him, rest in peace.

I felt all the old ladies staring at me, I shook their hands and RAN THE HELL OUT OF THERE. Stupid funeral parlor man, I told you I was there for Ed, not some stranger.

I talked to a dead man I don't know - wasn't scared or freaked out to look at his dead face. I remember when I was a kid, I was so haunted by going to wakes and looking at dead faces. I thought they followed me and somehow as ghosts, their body would lie down next to me when I was sleeping in bed. I imagined spirits taking up all the room in my bed & room. They could somehow seep through the screen on the window and call all their friends to come in. Since they were ghosts, they could take up as much room as they needed since their bodies could flow in to each other, like wisps of transparent angel wings. I was terrified that they were watching me sleep, sitting on my window sill or on the firescape outside. I thought they were still there with lights on too. My father would come and chase them away, he knew how to tell them to get lost. (What a dumb kid I was).

I see all our old friends at the right wake, and it was like the movie THE BIG CHILL. Steve Young's wife is the new young woman no one knows, but I am so glad Steve has her. Two friends' wives came from work and wore sneakers with suits in to the funeral parlor, gee............Change a block away like everyone else. Can't believe Ed suffered so long and can't believe he's gone now. Come to think about it - he was one of the people that introduced David and I. Only the good die young, and only the stupid walk in to wake's of people they don't know.